Nothing ever goes as planned. Not for long, anyway. Sometimes this is good; sometimes it fucking sucks. The fact that closing one door always opens another holds true, though.

This is Christmas Eve 2022. Myself, this time last year I was baking. Tonight I’m doing the same……….but the person who was texting me and trying to get into my pants is no longer speaking to me. This is one of those things I’d call good. He was a slime ball, for sure. He hid it well and I thought him a friend, but………..nah. And I certainly never liked him ‘like that’. That’s a whole ‘nother story in itself, though.

Last Christmas, I woke up to the answer of a prayer. I’d been praying pretty much nonstop for probably six months or so to get back in touch with someone. There was some kind of major connection, and there probably still would be……….if we were still speaking. Anyway, I woke up to a message from him, and all was good, but not for long. We spoke, but not for long. I’m one-hundred-percent certain there’s witchcraft involved, and not at all certain he’s innocent. Though how dark and demonic he may be I’m not sure………..but he’s something and that something doesn’t like the Holy Spirit that lives in me, I’ll tell you that! We as humans have major chemistry, but the spirit in me and the demon in him just won’t work. So, we’re out of touch. The good news, I renounced the soul tie around June or July of this year, I forget exactly when, and a few weeks later someone I’ve known for awhile but didn’t really know at all and I became what I always thought me and this guy would be. Me this time last year would be totally in denial that this shit could ever happen, but here I am and I got no idea where that fucker is………..and I don’t really care. My mind is elsewhere, though he has my prayers. Who knows, maybe next year we will be back in touch. You just never can tell what’s coming……….

I’ve got this one person I used to call friend that I’ve known since childhood, she was cut out of my life this year for the last time. Sad, but sometimes you just gotta do it. So, I did. This time last year she was telling me she was moving from our childhood state, where she still lives, to my state on the other end of the country. Didn’t happen, obviously.

Then I let someone else take the room she was going to take. He was yet another friend that liked me more than I liked him……….there are way too many of these motherfuckers in my life………. but he was respectful and didn’t push feelings. I had known he had a depression problem, what I didn’t know is that there was also oppression about to become possession involved. Demon attached to him from witchcraft put on him at a gaming table. I knew he was odd or off or some shit, but cared for him as a friend anyway. Unfortunately, the same week I figured out the extent of his problem and was thinking on the best way to go about helping him was the last time I saw him alive. He took his own life due to the spirit of premature death put on him. I had assumed he’d stay with me and I’d take care of him for quite some time, if not forever. (Remember, I said he was a bit odd. I called him a man-child). So anyway, that was another shocker I didn’t see coming. When I first met him we didn’t hit it off. Sure couldn’t have imagined ever being even friendly in passing with him, never mind having him live in my spare room. Then after being forced to do some training together we formed a bond. It was like I was his mother or some shit even though he was eight years older than myself so this would have of course been impossible. When he died it was as if I lost a child and a brother at the same time. I cried for weeks. Maybe months. A long ass time, anyway. But, time heals wounds and that shit. I can now laugh and smile at memories of him, anyway. Still though, if I think of how we couldn’t stand one another, then became friends, then roommates, that’s a shock in itself. And if I think of him dead, well last year at this time it was the day after Christmas I was pissed off at him because I text him and he wouldn’t reply to come meet me and my sister for dinner and drinks and shopping. (He later admitted he was gambling at the time. That’s what took his life in the end). When I reemed him a new asshole for that, I sure didn’t think he’d have lived in my house and then passed away by that time next year. But, such is life and it must go on……….

One friend of mine, probably the one that ‘gets me’ the most when it comes to my supernatural experiences, at this time last year I barely knew her. (She has similar experiences and some even more crazy than my own). Like the guy that came outta nowhere even though he’d been there for quite some time, so did she. And funny thing is, they’re from the same country. And I met them in the same place. It’s some crazy shit but I am eternally grateful for her friendship. I became friends with her a few months before the guy, and neither knew I had become friends with the other until I told them. So. Fucking. Crazy. But I’ve no doubt it’s divine intervention……….

I know this one woman and I’ve been her friend since I met her. Maybe four years ago I’d guess. Thought she was my friend as well, assumed she was a strong Christian lady. But lately……….yeh I’ve notcied she’s lukewarm and has never experienced the miracles signs and wonders of being totally in tune with the Holy Spirit. She portrays herself as a sweetheart but unfortunately I’m thinking she’s not only lukewarm but that she’s also got a major spirit of religion. Follows church rules rather than asking for advice from the Holy Spirit, in other words. Sad, and I never would have imagined that a year ago. But we are definitely growing apart. Win some, lose some, I guess. Whenever you gain something or someone spiritually, you definitely lose something or someone in return. And you never can tell what that someone or something will be.

My whole life I’ve been petrified of snakes. A phobia. About this time last year I noticed I was getting to where I could look at one in a photo and not have a heart attack. It’s now evolved enough that I can watch a video with one of the big ones that someone says ‘ooooohhhh look how pretty this snake’s skin is’ and I agree. I mean I sure as shit don’t want to be the one all wrapped up in one, or even near it if I don’t have to be, but they no longer terrify me. If you would have told me a year ago I could watch snake reels on Facebook and they would interest me I’d have thought you sick in the head……….

I’ve always liked creative writing, but always been hesitant to share my work. I always wished I had that for a career rather than being in a trashy manufacturing plant with such a backstabbing atmosphere as they all tend to have. Never had the ambition to go after it though. But since last year I’ve started this blog in addition to my poetry page, gotten more books finished and am about to start a fifth after I finish this very post, and a few weeks ago started a utube channel ro read aloud my work. (I suck at that and need to get better). Trying to use my ‘doodling’, aka cartoon-like drawings, as well. I also now am not at all hesitant to share my work with anyone as I have found confidence in my talent, and am praying on when and how to move forward with this. Last year at this time I wouldn’t have imagined it as any more than a hobby, but now I’m certain that when I get better at marketing myself it can at least become a side hustle.

So yeh, I could go on and on endlessly about this topic, but I don’t really need to in order for you to get what I’m saying, I’m sure. From one year to the next it’s inevitable shit is going to change. I don’t think it’s possible to not be surprised at the last year’s happenings when you reflect. I’m wondering right now how the very things I just told you about are going to have evolved by this time next year. No doubt the most shocking will be who has come into and who has left my life. I’m not sure I want to think on it too much, as losing people is always so shitty and I got a couple I can’t bear to lose at the moment……….so I’d rather not think on it. And the one I’m hoping returns, if he does what the fuck will I do about it? Not drop the one I got now, no fucking way. What a mess that will be if it happens…………and this is why it’s best not to think on what’s coming but rather wait until it’s transpired and deal with it then. So that’s just what I’m going to do. And no doubt next Christmas Eve I’ll be baking and thinking yet again……….